Jerry's Movie Reviews
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Because BC Parks grossly underpays Jerry, he has not been able to afford a new VCR. Therefore, he views all his movies on an old Beta machine he stole from a hunter many years ago. That is why Jerry only reviews older movies which are available for rent at the local Beta Barn Video Store.

TRUE LIES (1994)

True Lies stars Arnold Schwarzenegger who gained fame in the movie TERMINATOR. In TERMINATOR, Schwarzenegger plays a killing robot. Director James Cameron wanted Arnold for that role because he had the personality of a machine. Unfortunately, it was a washing machine. Arnold is married to Maria Schriver, who is related to the famous Kennedy family. She is living proof that the male Kennedys were the only ones blessed with the looks in the family.

Also starring is Jamie Lee Curtis the daughter of Tony Curtis. She has appeared in such hits like HOLLOWEEN, BLUE STEEL, was a girlfriend of Richard Lewis in a Seinfeld rip-off TV show and has recently has been advertising cellular phones. You know I never realized her career really sucked. At least she made her dad proud, as he does not have to worry that she will have more success than he will.

To round out this trio of overrated egos is the mental midget Tom Arnold. I will not bother listing his previous acting roles because you likely have not heard of them because they do not last long in the theaters. If you have seen some of his movies, you are probably still trying to get that bad memory out of your head. (webmasters note: Jerry does not have an objective view of Tom Arnold due to the fact that he hit on Toms girlfriend at a charity dinner a few years ago. The evening ended with Tom sucker punching an inebriated Jerry. I will try to have Jerry share this story with his readers at a future date.) In fairness, this was his best acting role in his career. His bad acting was overshadowed by the even worse acting by Schwarzenegger and Curtis.

Now to the Review:

Schwarzenegger plays Harry Tasker a man who leads a double life. At home with his family, he is a loving but meek husband and father. When he goes off to work however he does not travel to the sales office where Helen (Curtis) thinks he has a desk. Instead, he joins up with his partner, Tom Arnold, to save the world as a spy. Do I need to go on? It has the usual cliches with action, explosions, kidnapping and an overrated strip tease by Jamie Lee Curtis. In the end, Harry saves the world and suddenly his housewife is also an international spy with Harry.

This movie is horrible, so do not bother going to the beta barn and spending any money on it.


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